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[video by soupygarbagejuice. original caption: stuie]
“I guess I would scream too if I knew a God could hear me” is too much of a raw line to come from a tik tok about a cat
vibes tbh
(via themermaidpirate)
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Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same
Me: I think I don’t exist.
Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.
Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.
Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?
Therapist: No.
Me: Wow.
Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.
Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.
Therapist: That’s a start!
Me: I guess he’s still my friend?
Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.
Me:
Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.
Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.
Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.
Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*
Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!… Oh my name is on it!!
Me: Yeah!!
Therapist: It’s wholesome but… *very confused and silently*… How do I drink it?
Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-
Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.
Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.
Me: What-
Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS*
Me:
Me: Jerome.
Therapist: You went to the gaypride?
Me: Yeah, I went.
Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?
Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.
Therapist: Did you see some bears?
Me:
Me: Jerome wh-
Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it.
Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?
Me: No, I want it!!
Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!
Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.
Therapist: That’s not very hard.
Me: I always wondered, are you queer?
Therapist: I am not.
Me: Ooh.
Therapist: Or am I?
Me: Ooh!
As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.
The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.
This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.
As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.
He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.
Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.
Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.
Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.
Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.
Me: What??
Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?
Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?
Therapist: Exactly.
Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.
Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-
Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?
Me: Dinner first.
Therapist:
Therapist: Damien, you moron.
Therapist: You need vacations.
Me: I’m broke.
Therapist: Oh yeah.
Therapist: You still need vacations tho.
Me: Jerome, I am still broke.
Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!
Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.
Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?
Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.
For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:
Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?
Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.
Therapist: Were you really going to your friend…?
Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?
Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.
Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!
Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.
Me:
Me: What.
Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.
Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.
Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.
Therapist:
Therapist: How dare you.
Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.
Me:
Therapist: Do you smoke?
Me: Jerome.
On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing
He’s doing fine, last time he shown me his fav pic of a red panda which is this one
I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL
It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg
Always reblog Jerome.
Is he now aware of his fame?
After months, he is, and he just told me “Haha, this is funny. I’m happy it’s helping people!”
I think he doesn’t realize that he’s known *worldwide*
I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!
This is great
OP can we get more updates please
Sure! Here’s his fav cat breed
OP we need another update!
Is his fav dog breed an acceptable update? Or more?
Special guest of the day because I haven’t seen Jerome in a little while: My psychiatrist.
Psychiatrist, pointing at my little shovel tattoo: Does it have a meaning?
Me: Actually yes, it’s one of the rare ones who does. I wanted to be a gravedigger for a long time but since I’m disabled I can’t. So it’s just a little funny reminder of my wish to become a gravedigger.
Psychiatrist: Until when did you want to become a gravedigger?
Me: Until 20yo I think? Yeah, from kindergarten to 20yo.
Psychiatrist: Oh. Well, who am I to judge when I was a kid i wanted to be a garbageman because ridding the truck looked funny.
Therapist: You’re allowed to tell what you feel. You can’t keep everything stored in bottles and hope for the best, you’ll never be happy if you do this.
Me: But they won’t be happy.
Therapist: Be egoistic. You’re not in charge of everybody’s happiness but you’re in charge of yours. It will take times to start to say that you dislike what people are saying, it will take time to manage to say to the others when they hurt you. It’s not easy. But you’re allowed to tell people how you feel and to accept how you feel rather than bottling up.
Me: How long will it take me to manage to do it?
Therapist: I started to do it in my thirties. There is no starting point, you just go at your pace.
Therapist: Last time I saw a handful of young people with pride flags. I tried to see if you and your friends where at it.
Me: Jerome, I’m not at every pride manifestations. I won’t even go to the pride parade this year.
Therapist, sounding slightly disappointed: Oh well. You should, it’s fun.
omg it got better
This has given me life, Jerome is the kind of therapist/friend/father everyone needs
i want to give jerome a pet frog as a thank you for just existing
(via themermaidpirate)
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i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me
Lmao op lives in the south. The tap water up here is from fucking springs. It’s so clean and fresh and has no stalagmites whatsoever. Cope and seethe southerner
My bones are so strong from all the chalk I’ve been drinking that I could mull you into a fine paste
You guys are like a two hour drive from each other
(via themermaidpirate)
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The voice acting didn’t have to hit like that
you have to unmute the voice acting is Oscar worthy
he sounds like an anime villain
(via themermaidpirate)
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THEM! illustration for @gefionne‘s incredible Good Omen’s fic Hope Is The Thing With Feathers
(via gefionne)
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“why is your memory so bad?” “"Why are you always so out of it” “your like a completely different person!” See I have an explanation for this but I don’t think your gonna like the explanation
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follow my art on instagram !!
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crowley must have known that aziraphale was also in love with him, he tidied the bookshop, he was planning on taking him to the Ritz after his confession, he had their song queued in the car these are not acts of someone who wasn’t sure what the outcome will be.
which makes it so much more painful that he still confessed his love for aziraphale with tears in his eyes and on the verge of a full blown panic attack, he left saying “don’t bother” but he still waited by his car til the elevator doors closed. all because
